


You're Not What You Seem

by KyberHearts_And_StardustSouls



Category: Poe Dameron - Fandom, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Freeform - Fandom, Star Wars alternate universe, star wars AU - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Minor Injuries, Minor mention of blood, Star Wars - Freeform, Star Wars AU, minor mention of physical pain, star wars alternate universe - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-14 17:20:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10541025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyberHearts_And_StardustSouls/pseuds/KyberHearts_And_StardustSouls
Summary: Yay, my second Star Wars AU.I initially wanted to write something more roar, but as the story progressed, I felt it wasn't necessary and that maybe whatever happens between reader and Poe is up to the reader.Fandom: Star WarsPairing: Poe x (fem)ReaderWARNINGS: Some minor mention of blood and broken bones. Hints of physical pain. A couple of cuss words. Mention of alcohol consumption.





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> Yay, my second Star Wars AU. 
> 
> I initially wanted to write something more roar, but as the story progressed, I felt it wasn't necessary and that maybe whatever happens between reader and Poe is up to the reader.  
> Fandom: Star Wars  
> Pairing: Poe x (fem)Reader
> 
> WARNINGS: Some minor mention of blood and broken bones. Hints of physical pain. A couple of cuss words. Mention of alcohol consumption.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is a doctor, whose first run in with Poe doesn't go too well.

You stepped into his quarters and he flipped on the lights. You looked around in surprise. You somehow had expected a bigger mess, but you only saw a few stray items: the flight suit he'd worn earlier today dangled over a chair; a few datapads laid scattered across a table opposite a small couch, and a couple of shirts laid strewn across the floor.  
   
You snickered at the latter, and he dashed to pick them up.  
"Sorry, I was in a hurry," he blushed. A rarity to see him blush.  
"In a hurry, huh?" you scrunched your nose.  
You ventured his haste was related to your date.   
You still tried to get over the fact that you had even agreed.   
   
Sure, he had a way with words. Great storyteller. Sweet talker. Knowledgeable, too.  
He was also passionate, about friends and work alike. Something, you'd only recently discovered. And he was handsome. Dark hair, dark eyes, long lashes, strong jaw, full lips, and a nice built. Nothing overly muscular, but fit. Proportionate the proper term, really.  
   
And the date itself had been quite wonderful. You had expected some usual dinner type of deal. Instead, he took you hiking to his favorite spots near the Resistance base. Places only he knew of. He had even brought his favorite foods for you to try. Most of it was good. Just a couple of things you insisted you rather not eat. Squiggly things. Things that should be last resort when lost in a forest. Things that made you raise your brow when he just ate them like it was an everyday thing. You chuckled, again. The date had, indeed, been sweet.  
   
Still, you were surprised that you had agreed when he had asked you out. Your first encounter with him hadn't exactly been of the //we're instant friends// kind. In fact, it had been quite the opposite.   
   
It started with grumbles and cold responses towards hotshot attitude. Kind of from both sides. Anyone seeing you two now would probably laugh at the fact that you were even in the same room. You scoffed at that thought, your mind drifting while you sorted through memories to pinpoint the moment your opinion of him had one-eighty-ed, and it was definitely not when you had met, or even shortly after.  
   
You had recently been assigned to the Resistance base's sickbay and had worked another long shift. Not unusual for a first-year resident. However, secretly you had wished it had been anything other than back to back cases of stomach ailments and unidentifiable hives. Suffice to say, it had been the first time in your medical career that exhaustion was topped by feeling... well... grossed out. So when you finally found your way to the mess-hall, all you'd really wanted was a quiet meal. Your only meal that day, in fact.  
   
You had trudged to the mess-hall, expecting it to be empty since it was the middle of the night. Instead, the first thing you saw was him on top of one of the tables, clad in his orange flight-suit, and retelling- **no, _RELIVING_** \- one of his daring escape flights from wherever, a sphere-like droid helping the excitement with binary beeping.   
   
The table was crowded, and you knew, instantly, that he was one of the popular and well liked. It was in the way the crowd held collective breaths while he used arms and legs to bring the story to life. And of course, in the way they stayed glued to his words without interruption.  
   
That is until he caught sight of you. He paused for a moment, slacked jaw and hitched breath, and you paused your walk because, in that moment, everyone was staring your way to see what had him distracted, including the droid. It took someone from the crowd to get him to refocus. And when he did, you noticed a bolstered stance and squared shoulders, like he wanted to make sure you took notice of him. Of his good side, really.   
   
You did take notice, of course. Anyone with 20/20 vision would notice someone like him. Confident posture, gorgeous dark hair, and a perfect smile. Poster ~~child~~ man looks, really. So you did, indeed, take notice. But there was also a hint of super-ego to him. Charming arrogance. Alluring hubris. Or maybe endearing pomposity? The charming, alluring, and endearing you could live with. The rest turned you off.   
   
Not that there was anything wrong with confidence or pride. But you knew, from some deep-seated experience, that people like him - _pilots to be more specific_ -  just loved to use their super-egos to get what they wanted. Some of it was well deserved, of course. They trained for years. And their jobs were anything but stress-free. Some things, however, weren't meant to be given just because they asked.    
   
You shrugged out a sigh, then went on to get in line for food while he continued with his story. Despite the latter, you actually felt his gaze tracking you instead of him keeping focus on the group; but you ignored it. You were too hungry and too tired to care for those kind of looks that day. Especially those kind of looks from someone like him.  
   
You stood in line for a while, waiting. Not because there were many people ahead of you, but because the mess-hall staff was as enthralled by his story as the crowd surrounding his table. Everyone seemed enthralled. Everyone, except you.   
   
You continued waiting, patience wearing thin. You were ready to just grab a ladle and slush whatever onto your tray, but thankfully the story stopped and people went back to eating their food, and the staff went back to filling up trays.  
   
When you finally received your tray with whatever grayish, unidentifiable goop was getting served that day, all you wanted to do was eat, then finally head back to your quarters for some much-needed sleep.   
   
Maybe it was because you were tired, or maybe it was because your mind was already distracted by next day's schedule, but the next step you took ended with a startling bang of a fallen metal tray, and gray goop all over your already dirty scrubs.   
   
The reason: he had somehow made his way towards you and stood right behind you, so when you finally turned around to find a seat, the tray crashing into him was unavoidable. The gray goop spilling and sliding all over your scrubs, too. You actually wouldn't have minded so much if it hadn't been for the tray slipping from your hands. But now you did.  
   
And that's because the noise of metal crashing to the floor had everyone, once again, staring your way. That was the second time, he had made you feel like some oddity that was out of place. Accidentally, of course. But still, you blamed him for the out of place feeling. Like you didn't belong with this particular crowd. After all, you had interrupted earlier, and now you had startled everyone. What a great way to get noticed.  
   
You sighed. His instant apology didn't go past you, but you didn't care. You were tired. And tired meant moody. You picked up the tray and dropped it with a whispered "sorry" on the counter, then walked off to your quarters.   
   
For whatever reason, he felt it necessary to run after you, the droid, which was clearly his, whirring after you two.  
"Don't you have more stories to tell?" you asked; annoyed when he didn't get the hint that your fast pace was an obvious sign to be alone after all that.  
"Not until I get back from the next mission," he quipped, quite confidently.  
"Let me know when that is, so I can schedule my shift accordingly. That way you won't get distracted. Or cause any more accidents."  
"You don't like me," he raised his brow, surprised first, then almost shocked.  
   
The frown that settled after his observation made you scoff out a huff.  "I'm tired. And I'm dirty. I had to deal with people puking all over me all day. Not to mention, I've seen things, I rather wish, I hadn't! ---And, --- I didn't get to eat because, **one** , everyone was too busy listening to you, and **two** , well..." you gestured down your goop covered scrubs, then shot him a look. "So, yes. I don't like you."   
"Well then, good night!" he scoffed out and finally stopped walking.   
"Good night!" you hurried along.  
" **Good night!** " he yell-repeated.   
You just clenched your jaw and sped on, and when you finally reached your quarters, you slipped inside without looking back. After that, you didn't see him again. Not for a while.   
   
You actually forgot all about him, too busy for lingering thoughts because work in sickbay was steadily increasing with each passing day. It was normal to see more patients during high tides of war. The battles came to you like that. From superficial wounds to tortured souls. You saw it all. So it was normal for you to forget less important things, including that first encounter with him.  
   
Until - _a few weeks later_ \- you opened the curtains to one of the med-beds and found him sitting slouched on the edge, holding his hand over his left ribs. A startled and agape "you?" had him perk up his head. A wide grin followed when he recognized you. He dropped his arm, sat up straight, and squared his shoulders. The same move he had used at the mess-hall.   
   
You raised your brow, unimpressed. Then paced closer. You noticed blood seeping through his shirt. Not much, but enough to have you go into full medical mode. You were, after all, a doctor. And he clearly needed help.  
   
You washed your hands and slipped on a pair of latex gloves. "I'll have to cut off your shirt," you turned towards a medical tray, grabbing a pair of scissors. A suppressed but agonized moan had you quickly shoot back around. He had taken off his shirt on his own. You caught a second of pain on his face before he readjusted to sitting upright and giving you an even wider grin.  
   
"You shouldn't have done that," you quirked your brow again.  
"It's just a flesh wound," he tried to look tough, but that smug grin couldn't hide the pain he felt whenever he inhaled.  
"If that's true, then why do you have trouble breathing, Commander Dameron?" you tilted your head and waited for an answer.  
His brows shot up in surprise. "How'd you...?"  
"... know your name? It's on the data chart," your lip curled at the right corner. A half smile. The first you had granted him since that run in at the mess-hall and he took immediate notice.  
   
He sat up even taller. And you couldn't help but shake your head. What a show off, you thought.  
"What?" he drew in his brows.  
"You don't have to pretend around me, Commander. I promise, I won't let it slip that the great and mighty Poe Dameron is human after all," you looked into his eyes.  
You hadn't noticed the rich color before. A deep brown that gave his eyes a sultry softness while simultaneously sparking with mischief. You got lost there. For a second. Only. A. Second... And he smirked at that.  
   
You shook your head, again. How unprofessional of you to hold a lingering gaze when your patient needed treatment. You forced your attention to his left side, visually inspecting first, then pressed lightly against it, and he winced in pain; the wound, which seemed to have gotten patched up in haste, reopening. Back to full medical mode. "I'll need an x-ray to be sure, but it looks like you have a couple of cracked ribs underneath that gash. I'll tell the radiologist. You'll definitely be grounded for a while."  
   
He frowned at that. Most pilots you had encountered on this base shared that reaction. The word grounded was almost a cuss word in their ears. So you already knew his next words.  
"I'll be fine," he muttered, trying to stand up.  
There was only one type of patient worse than doctors. And he was that type. The loyal combat type who'd risk further injuries before being fully healed just so they could stay in the vanguard; or at least close enough to combat to help their peers. So you knew, he would say that.  
   
"I'm not done with the exam,"  you shot him down sternly, placing your hand on his chest to keep him seated on the bed. That's when you noticed how soft he felt. Soft, yet trained at the same time. And warm. Soothingly warm... So. Soothingly. Warm... You stared at your hand. Why didn't you just let go? Of him? Not like he resisted. Your words or your touch.   
   
He grumbled at first, but he did stay seated. And when he noticed your lasting touch, he, of course, gave you another one of those smug smiles, and you snapped out.   
You grabbed some gauze and gestured for him to hold it in place while you examined him further.   
   
You noted his upper body was peppered with smaller scars. Some looked like cuts, others like they'd come from blaster fire. Different stages of healing meant numerous combat encounters, which was odd to you because pilots rarely had to deal with face to face encounters. But you didn't dare ask how, when, or why. Mission details were highly classified. You drew your own conclusions. He was more than a pilot.   
   
A few bigger scars had you lean closer. You ran your gloved index across them, inspecting the protruding and uneven ridges, and shook your head.  
"Someone needs to teach you flyboys how to properly use memory-plastic so you don't end up with scars like this," you pushed your index across a scar on his back, and he tensed at the touch. "Pain?" you asked.  
"No. Your fingers are cold," he replied.   
   
From the back of his head, you could tell he was smirking. Again.  
You pulled off the gloves and tossed them into the biohazard bag, then typed a few notes into the medical data chart. From the corner of your eye, you saw him tracking your movements. A few times, he scanned you from top to bottom.   
"The radiologist will be with you shortly. An RN will patch up the gash the right way. You take it easy, Commander. No heavy lifting. No strenuous exercise. No flying," you looked up from the data chart to see if he understood, another smug smile on his face.  
   
"What?" you asked this time.  
"You don't want to examine the rest of me? Maybe something else hurts," he winked, looking down on his lower half, then waited. He was reading you to gauge your reaction. See if he could get a rise out of you somehow. That much you knew.  
"If you're trying to get me flustered, it's not going to work Commander. I've seen it all. And I mean," you stepped closer and leaned in. "I've seen it _aaaaalllll_. And those with the biggest egos usually don't share biggest when it comes to other, _real_ parts of their bodies," you whispered into his ear. It was you who smirked this time, and him who sat mouth agape.   
   
"Take care, Commander," you slipped the data chart into the holder at the end of the bed and walked off.   
"At least give me your name," he called out before you reached to close the curtains.  
"Why?"  
"You know mine. It's only fair, you share yours." He held a requesting but serious gaze. "I mean, that way I can schedule my dinners accordingly. So you won't distract me. Or, you know, have another accident."  
   
You husked out a scoff. "First of all, not my fault you get distracted so easily. And second. That was your fault. You really shouldn't sneak up on people!" You turned on your heel, ready to walk away.  
"You still don't like me, huh?" he asked with a mocking undertone this time.  
Why did he have to have the last word? Why? You stopped and pivoted back. "Truthfully. No. Because I know your type."  
"And what type is that?" He jumped off the bed with a wince, then ambled your way.  
"The big-headed, arrogant flyboy type who thinks he can have whatever he wants with those sultry eyes and... and...  aaaahhhnnnd... what are you doing?" you stammered out the last few words.   
   
He had stopped right in front of you. Close enough to where you could feel the warmth emanating from him, and his cologne wrapping around your nose, hints of engine fuel and grease mixed in. "Just trying to see why you're so scared of me," he whispered with a dead serious face.  
You laughed. Loudly. "Commander. I'm a doctor. If anything, you should be scared of me."  
"Now who's arrogant!" he shot out.   
"At least I don't have to retell my stories to boost my ego," you argued back.  
"Sometimes, those stories are all we have to keep us going!" he countered.   
"Yeah, well... well... Damn," you looked to the floor. "That was a good one," you whispered.  
   
"I know," he smirked again. "So you think, my eyes are sultry?" he wiggled his brows.  
Your eyes shot back up. That damn cocky confidence of his plastered across his face. "Unbelievable," you spun around and finally walked off. Nothing would stop you this time. You had other patients, after all.  
"I'm sorry. Please, just your name? Please?" he wheezed next to you while he tried to keep up the pace.   
You stopped.  So did he. "It's --- *you hesitated* --- Y/N," you said at last.   
"Thank you," Poe smiled, softly this time; but you just shook your head and moved on, ready to examine the next patient.   
   
"Don't worry, Y/N. I'll make sure our schedules won't cross," he called after you, sassy tone. The last word again.   
You went back to a fast pace that day. Sickbay was busy like that. But unlike last time, you didn't forget him. You wanted to, but couldn't.   
   
The night after your run in at sickbay, your mind stayed busy with thoughts of him. Nothing specific. His eyes kept flashing in your memory now and then. The way his skin felt invaded your thoughts more than once, too; but always out of the blue. And always when you seemed busy with some minor task. The fact that he had managed to make you laugh, even though he seemed quite serious, evoked even more laughter.   
   
He stayed with you, in your mind, and you couldn't help but notice a tiny tingling sensation in your stomach when you returned to sickbay the next day. You caught yourself more than once peering towards the double doors, hoping he would walk through. You were almost disappointed when he didn't show up.   
   
"Y/N? Hello? Doctor Y/LN," a colleague called out. You turned towards the words and were met with a questioning glance. "What's wrong with you?" your colleague chuckled out.  
"Long shift," you fibbed.  
"Tell me about it. I can't wait until we have //normal// hours," your colleague used air quotations, and you chuckled in reply. Normal hours in this profession was an impossibility, but you knew what they meant. Shorter days, at least, would be nice.  
   
"Anyways. Why didn't you tell me you ordered food this time? I'd have ordered with you?" your colleague asked.  
"I didn't order any food," you responded, perplexed.  
"Yeah. It's in the break room. A droid is holding it."  
   
You dropped the data chart you had been holding up until that point on the nurse's desk and went to the break room. And indeed, right there, by the break room table was a little droid holding a bag. A sphere-like droid. The same one you had seen the first night you had met Poe.  
   
"What's this?" You reached for the bag and the droid met you halfway, lifting the bag towards you while beeping in binary.  
"From Commander Dameron, huh? Well you --- what's your name anyways," you chuckled, and the little droid beeped out "BB-Eight". "Well, BB-Eight. Tell Commander Dameron, thank you," you took the bag from the droid's mechanical arms and it rolled back to its master.  
   
You opened the bag and found a sandwich and a couple of fruits, along with a note. It took a few tries to decipher the scribbles.   
   
 _"Retelling one of my heroic stories tonight._  
 _In fact, the one that explains how I cracked my ribs._  
 _Figured, it'd be best not to get distracted._  
 _Or cause accidents._  
 _Hope the food is ok._  
  
 _Poe."_  
   
You scoffed out a laugh. Cocky was truly an understatement for him. On one hand, you welcomed the food. It was a nice gesture despite the implications that kept rubbing you the wrong way. On the other hand, you knew, _you just knew_ , he was trying to lure you to the mess-hall so you would watch him retell his story while he showed off his injury, probably justifying the way he got it.   
Temptation was great. So great. But you decided to stay in the break room and share your dinner with your colleague.   
   
The next two weeks went on like that. You worked long shifts most nights, and he kept sending BB-8 with dinner; little notes always attached, cheeky but always impersonal. He never used terms like "miss you" or "want to see you", nor did he pepper his signature with x'es and o's. It always and only remained "Poe".  
   
Occasionally, you would send a note back through BB-8, only stating thank you. As impersonal as his notes really. And occasionally, he would ask if he should reserve a seat for you to watch his "heroic tales" getting told. It was an indirect hint, that he actually did want you to show up. But you kindly declined with "too much work" excuses.  
   
On your days with short shifts, you went to the mess-hall , but he refrained from showing his face. He did, however, send BB-8 with food that was better than what the mess-hall served. Often fruits, Poe had picked himself somewhere near the base.  
   
The third week finally came with a break. A 48-hour break! Desperately needed to catch up on sleep and social life. You slept away the first day off. The second day, and only after some coaxing, you agreed to go to the base's after-hours gathering-place with your colleague. You both deserving a night of drinks and better food the driving force.   
   
Unsurprisingly, the pilots gathered there as well. Not like there were many options to hang out. This was, after all, in true terms a military base. One of the Resistance's, but still military defined. So finding the pilots here wasn't a surprise.   
   
Him showing up, wasn't one either, really. The tall, gorgeous someone attached to his hip, however, was. To you, at least. For the first time, since you had met him, you felt an intense sting in your heart. Jealousy. How even? You didn't like him. Why would you care?   
   
You prompted your colleague for a seat in the back corner, wanting to be unnoticed. The two of you talking life and other stuff, when another pilot approached her for a dance. She scrunched her face at you, and you nodded.  
"Go," you smiled. "Dance your feet off," you snickered. So did your colleague. You weren't going to hold back her fun. Ultimately, that was why you decided to go out in the first place. Meet people and have fun and eat good food.   
   
You got lost in a gaze towards the dance floor, watching other couples dance, when a creaky noise had you shift your attention to your right. Poe, wide grin on face, had plopped down in the chair right next to you. He sat with his legs stretched and parted, left hand on his left thigh, and right hand clinging to a drink on the table.  
   
"You gonna dance, or what?" he quirked his brow.  
"With you? No chance," you declined.  
"Why?" He gave you a puppy-eyed smolder.  
"Aren't you here with someone?"  
"Ehhh... she left with some other guy," Poe pulled his lips into a frown.  
"So now you're hitting on me?"  
"I'm not hitting on you. I asked if you wanted to dance," he quirked his brow again.  
"Right. So you can feel me up," you shot back.  
   
"I hadn't thought about it but now that you mention it." There was that grin again. Damn him.  
You laughed. Sarcastically. "Are you for real?"  
"What? I mean, come on. It's a calm night. Little bit of dancing. Little bit of closeness. Nothing wrong with that." He shimmied his shoulders with those words, and you shook your head.  
   
"Closeness. Like the kind of closeness you wanted with her?"  
"Are you judging me?"  
"No. To each their own. I get it. Release is always good."  
"Then what?"  
"I'm not some interchangeable one night stand."  
"Who said, it was a one night stand. Maybe I had planned two days and two nights," he wiggled his brows.  
   
You squeezed your eyes shut and hollowed out a breath. "Wow. Just. **Wow**. I'm going to go ahead and blame the alcohol for that one. But just so you know, I doubt you could handle two nights with me. Or any of us for that matter," you got up and signaled your friend. She gestured a //one minute// while you gathered your things.   
"What did I ever do to you?" Poe remained seated.  
"I don't know. You just rub me the wrong way," you fidgeted with your bag.  
"How?" he got up and stepped closer to you.  
   
"I don't know. Just... all of it. Your surefire attitude. You thinking you can have anything or anyone. Your assumption that you're better than us. I mean why else would you glorify getting hurt. You big hero." You gave him a once-over with that last sentence.  
"Is that how you see me?"  
"That's all you've offered so far."  
"Hmmmm. Not like you're any better. Misjudging people without knowing their whole story. Always sitting with your own doctor kind, unwilling to talk to anyone outside your circle. Yeah, I've seen you. --- And, reading way too much into simple offers, like you're doing right now," he stepped even closer, sternly gazing into your eyes.  
   
"You don't know me," you whispered without breaking the gaze.   
"You're right. I don't. But you don't know me either," he stood so close, your noses nearly touched. Just then your colleague stumbled against the table. "Good night, Y/N," Poe stepped back. He didn't smile this time. Nor did he smirk. He didn't offer any expression for that matter.  
   
You grabbed your colleague's bag and helped her walk. She had had a few drinks too many.  On the way back to your quarters, you felt her glaring at you from the side.  
"Did you seriously turn down Poe?" she slurred.  
"I sure did. Hot stuff thinks he can get his way. Not with me," you chuckled awkwardly.  
"Are you serious? He's the most respectable out of the bunch," your colleague stumbled out.  
   
"Really? Well, you didn't hear what he said," you chuckled again.   
"Pfffttt... all talk. Trust me. It's all a front."  
"And how would you know?"  
"Because he asked me out. Actually went on a date with him. And when it finally got to the end of the night, he just dropped me off back at my place, and left."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah. He thanked me. Said he wanted to see me again. But ugh..."  
"You didn't want to see him again?"  
"Girl. I wanted him. For a night. But me? With a pilot? Forever? No thank you," your colleague laughed drunkenly.  
   
You found her quarters and made sure she drank some water, then meandered deep in thought towards your own. You really did misjudge him. You cussed at yourself. The one guy that had taken interest in you since forever was probably never going to talk to you again.  
   
The next day, it was back to work. Another long shift, the evening crawled in and you were aching. You made it to the break room, hoping to find BB-8 with a bag, but the spherical droid was amiss. And it was amiss the next day and the day after. Poe, in fact, stopped talking to you altogether. And you cussed at yourself.   
   
Another week of no dinners, you finally dared to go back to the mess-hall . If you wanted to eat, you would have to risk bumping into him. Maybe he wouldn't be there anyways. Pilots were busy these days, and although he was still grounded, you were sure, work in the hangars kept him as busy as you were in sickbay.  
   
You crossed your fingers on the way to the mess-hall , two way wish, really. Split feeling. The place was fairly quiet when you got there. No stories were being told. No BB-8 rolling around excitedly. You pulled in a semi-relieving breath. He wasn't here. You kind of hoped that he would be. But him not being here meant no awkwardness. Still...  
   
You grabbed a tray and found a seat near the center. You sat alone, which should have been a welcoming feeling. You had always enjoyed sitting alone after a long day of work. To wind down. To let the images of the day fade to nothingness.   
   
Even when you sat with your colleagues, you let the images fade. You mostly sat with them because conversation wise, they were the only ones who understood when there was a need to talk about whatever troubled your mind. Usually, it would be about a patient you had come across and how it gnawed on your nerves if you couldn't help them.  
   
But now sitting alone wasn't just sitting alone. You were alone, and you were lonely. Your mind went back to how you had secretly hoped Poe would be here. Secretly hoped he would be telling one of his stories. And secretly hoped he would notice you if he had been here. Your thoughts stayed with him, and you realized that you missed him.   
   
"You mind if we sit with you," a woman's voice grabbed your attention. You perked your eyes up and saw her standing next to a young man in a Resistance jacket.   
"Go ahead. I'm almost finished," you smiled.  
The two sat down and dug into their food, sighing satisfied at the gray goop that was getting served that day.   
   
You watched them quietly, suppressing a snicker because clearly, these two had not eaten this stuff long enough.   
"I'm Rey, by the way," the young woman mumbled through her food.  
"Finn," the young man smiled.  
"Y/N." you offered.   
They went back to stuffing their cheeks and you couldn't help a raised brow.  
   
"What?" Rey wrinkled her nose.  
"I've just never seen anyone actually liking this stuff," your eyes went wide first, then you laughed.  
"Way better than what we had during training," Finn sipped on some water.  
"Definitively way better than the rations on Jakku," Rey dug into her food again.  
"You're new here then?" you wondered.  
   
"Somewhat. Been here a few months. Yourself?" Finn asked.   
"A few months. I work in sickbay," you smiled.  
"Oh. You probably saw Finn, then. He was only recently released." Rey blurted out.  
"You were? You may have been in a different ward then. I work in the emergency section," you shared.   
   
You had already finished your food but you thought it nice to talk to these two. Refreshing almost to see their enthusiasm about the food. And about the galaxy. Rey talked more than Finn about that. How she loved going to different planets, especially ones with lots of forests. Finn seemed more reserved. At times, it looked like he asked indirectly for permission to do anything. To get more food, to stretch out his legs, and to continue talking.  
   
"It's a First Order thing," he frowned when he noted you realizing what he was doing.  
"I understand," you smiled softly.   
Just then Rey's eyes shot up to someone behind you. "Hey, Poe. Kept us waiting so we decided to talk to..."  
"Y/N?" you heard Poe from behind.  
   
You cringed. Not because he was there but because you were unsure what to say or do. "I guess, I should get going," you got up and grabbed your tray. "It was nice talking to you," you geared at Rey and Finn. You spun around slowly and smiled out a thin "Poe", then aimed for the exit. He just stood there, frozen for a second, then stepped out of your way so you could walk past.   
   
"Oh. Wait. That's her?" you overheard Rey whisper before distance drowned out whatever else they were saying, and for a second, your heart skipped a beat. He talked about you. He talked about you to his friends. You hoped it was the good kind of talk. Even if it wasn't, he talked about you.  
   
Another week went by, and you, once again, were preoccupied with work. The Resistance was gearing up for another mission, and everyone going was due for an exam. All doctors, on call or not, helped with pushing pilots and crews through in fifteen-minute intervals. Mission readiness was important after all.  
   
Naturally, your paths crossed due to that. Unnaturally, he greeted you with a serious face and an almost cold posture when you got around to his exam.  
"Look here," you guided a light to get a better look at Poe's eyes and he followed without a single, sassy remark.  "How are your ribs feeling?" you asked, pressing lightly against his left side after he had taken off his shirt. The scar above the cracked ribs seemed to have healed nicely, but it was clear that it was the newest one.  
   
He groaned. "Still a little sore, but better. Breathing is painless now."  
"Good. It will take some more time. Technically, I should still ground you, but the General said she needs everyone. So, --- be careful, Commander," you gulped when you looked into his eyes this time. You felt like you were saying goodbye to someone you had known for a long time, and yet, you knew nothing about him. Except that you liked him. And that you had clearly misjudged him. **And** that you cared for his safe return.   
"Thank you, Doctor Y/LN," he pulled on his shirt while you typed something into his medical data chart.    
   
Just then, BB-8 whirred past you, chatting excitedly with Poe.  
"I know, BB-Eight. I know. Let me get dressed," Poe huffed, and you chuckled at the sight.  
"Is the commander cleared?" General Organa stood outside the exam room. It was rare that she was around for these types of things, so clearly this mission was important.  
"Yes. But he does need to take it easy when he can," you brought the General up to date with need to know medical information about her top pilot.  
"I'll make sure he gets plenty of time off when he returns," General Organa smiled. "Commander, a word," she geared towards Poe and gestured for you to stay close by. You, unsure what that was about, stayed out of earshot but close enough to see them talk.   
   
Poe nodded at whatever the General was telling him, BB-8 moving its little head between the two of them. Then you saw her slip him a datacard and he stashed it in his flight suit. There was an uneasiness growing inside you. A feeling that maybe you might not see him again for a while. If at all. You looked to the floor, your mind screaming at you. // _TELL HIM. TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL.//_  No! Now was not the right time. He was getting mission ready, so what good would that do?  
   
The General and Poe finished their talk, and General Organa geared to leave, BB-8 rolling after her, beeping excitedly. Just when she reached the door, she stopped, turned around, and looked at Poe.  
"And Commander. It doesn't hurt to try again," she said. "And it doesn't hurt to give him a chance," the General smiled at you.   
"A chance for what?" you smiled warily, a little taken aback.  
"To go out with him of course," the General stated matter-of-factly, smiling at Poe and BB-8 before she walked to check on the other pilots.  
   
An awkward moment had followed that day. A long silence before mumbled words of _//see you later//_ had skipped across. From both of you. And just before another pilot had trudged in to get Poe. "Gotta get going, Commander. Or we'll miss our chance to fly in undetected."  
   
And now... Now you stood here, in his quarters, amazed that it wasn't messier. Just a few stray items hinted at organized mess. And you stood there, glad that he had returned from the mission unscathed. That he had come back and made good on giving it another try.  
   
Still, you were surprised that you had even agreed because that first encounter had been anything but //instant friends//. So all of this still felt surreal.  
   
You peered around his quarters again, hoping to see a little more of him. Holo-flats hanging on the wall above a desk gave you just that. Pictures of family and friends, his squad, the General. Clearly, people he cared for deeply. And there, in the middle, between family and friends, was one of you. A holo-flat he had somehow taken of you the night at the bar while you were gazing at the dancing couples.    
   
You stepped closer, inspecting the other pictures, trying to see if he had taken any of the people he had gone out with before you. You ghosted the holo-flats with your fingertips, but there were none. It was all family and friends and his squad. Quite a few of BB-8. And one of you.  
   
He stepped behind you, observing you. "You won't find one," he said calmly.  
"One what?" you asked as though you didn't know what he was talking about; turning around. He looked into your eyes and smiled softly before swiping a strand of your hair behind your ear.  
"A holo-flat of anyone I've dated," he stated and your raised brow confirmed that that was indeed what you had been looking for.  
"Is that good or bad?" you wondered.  
"It's not a bad thing. Only people I trust and care for are up on that wall," he spoke softly, and you gulped.   
"You really aren't what I thought you were," you whispered.  
"Neither are you," he teased your nose with his, then finally his lips touched yours and you let yourself fall into the moment.  
 


	2. Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Poe have been together for nearly a year when Poe returns from a mission and asks for reader's trust when he takes reader she's never been to before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unlike Part I, which takes place over a couple of months, this chapter, albeit being longer, takes place over the span of three days.

You felt a careful shift in the mattress. Then an arm wrapped gently around your waist. The scent of his soap wrapped around your nose. You bit away a snicker when you felt him kiss the back of your neck.   
"Welcome home, Commander," you whispered.  
"Oh... I didn't mean to wake you, Y/N," he mumbled against your shoulder.   
He squeezed you closer and trailed lazy kisses onto your shoulder, and you couldn't help but think that your place felt like home again.  
   
Hard to believe that after the rocky start you two had had, you were now sharing quarters. You had even been granted a double room. A lovely perk not every couple on the Resistance base enjoyed. You were grateful. If you would have had to live in a single room for the last year, the claustrophobic effect would have likely ended with both of you crawling up the walls.  
   
After all, being in a relationship didn't mean being attached at the hip 24/7. It meant a balance of being together and being apart. Giving each other distance, knowing the other will be there in a heartbeat if you needed. Sharing closeness without the overwhelming feeling of getting crushed. That meant personal space within shared quarters was a must. A corner for each to retreat to and be alone --- but not lonely.   
   
Sure, you two could have probably made this work in a single room. He was often gone for days or weeks at a time. But having a double room was a reminder that you, indeed,  were never alone for long. His things on display in a tiny corner or scattered throughout should have been enough. And it likely would have been. However, in your mind, there was something peaceful about seeing a whole section that was his. His presence, whenever he was gone, was simply more that way.   
   
You smiled at the thought that sometimes you sat in his chair when he was away on a mission. Sometimes, you even fell asleep in it; often with a datapad in your hand while viewing old messages so you wouldn't forget his face. Or his voice. You smiled, because over the span of twelve months, he had become the most important person in your life.   
   
You felt another kiss on your shoulder. A held kiss with a long, warm exhale onto your skin. You stirred at last and rolled over in his hold.   
   
You were a bit taken aback. Despite the darkness, you saw that he looked drained. Not even a sonic shower could wash away that kind of exhaustion. You shifted closer and palmed his tired face.   
   
"Hey," you whispered with a reassuring smile. Reassuring because you wanted to let him know that he could talk if he needed but you weren't going to press. You had learned early on not to do that. That he needed minutes, hours, and sometimes even days to process whatever laid heavy on his soul.  
   
"Hey," he whispered back with an //I know// type of smile -still tired but warm- while leaning in for a soft kiss. Velvet on velvet. His tongue skimming your edges. Gentle exploration. Nothing too intense. Just enduring softness. How much you had missed the simplicity of an enduring kiss like this.   
   
You snickered when you felt his hand sliding down your side. You knew he would be going there. He always did whenever he returned from a prolonged assignment. He needed that closeness. And so did you.   
   
He pulled you even closer to his body, brushing kisses onto your neck, his left leg parting your legs so he could lay half his body on top of yours. He searched for your hands with his and when he found them, curled his fingers around yours and brought your wrists above your head. More kisses down your neck, you could feel warmth building up.   
   
You gasped. You knew his next move. Your shirt would be next. He would always pull it off with heated kisses up your stomach. Your body tingled thinking about it. How much you longed for that move.   
   
But he stopped.   
   
He buried his face in the curve of your neck, then pushed a breath through his nose onto your skin. A heavy exhale that was followed by him dropping his whole weight onto you.  
"What's wrong?" you asked, wiggling your hands free from his. You threaded your fingers into his curls and he lifted his head to look at you. There it was again. Right there, in the creases around his eyes, and in the corners of his mouth. Exhaustion.   
   
"Long mission," he whispered while he shifted the weight of his upper body to his elbows. He gazed at you, wheels turning behind dark eyes. He skimmed your chin with his thumb. Then your lips, detailing arches over and over again. "I love you," he whispered. Another soft kiss followed.  
"I know," you smiled when he pulled away, but that exhaustion remained settled on his face.   
   
You palmed his face again. Concerned. You had seen him tired before. Downright fatigued. It was a price he paid. It was a price they all paid. But this was different. "Tell me what's on your mind," you spoke softly, yet with a hint of urgency. You were worried. Something was off and this time you didn't want to wait for collected thoughts.  
   
He shook his head and rolled to his back, staring at the ceiling. Despite the absence of light, you could see his eyes shift, like he was sorting through what he was allowed to share, and what he wanted to share.  
You moved closer to his side, propped your head onto your left hand, and waited.   
You saw his chest rise and fall a few times. Deep inhales. Long exhales. Then he turned to face you.  
   
"I don't know if I can do this anymore," he revealed apprehensively.  
"Flying?"  
He shook his head no. "Seeing death."  
You squeezed your eyes shut for a moment. Deep down, you knew that that would be the answer. "What happened?" you asked calmly.  
"We were too late. A whole city. Gone. The rubble, I can live with. Houses can be rebuilt. Landspeeders can be fixed. Fields reworked. But people..." he stopped. He pulled in his lower lip a few times, then went back to staring at the ceiling.  
   
You closed whatever minuscule gap remained, then caressed his face, gently forcing him to focus back at you. You could tell that there were tears at the edges of his eyes just waiting to fall. Pain-filled tears. Despaired ones. Hopelessness almost. War was vile like that. Even the best of the best succumbed to the stresses now and then, and tonight it seemed Poe's turn.  
   
He looked at you and waited. Like he needed some kind of permission. You caressed his face, your thumb rubbing over his cheek again and again. "I'm so sorry, Poe," you whispered. "So sorry," you kissed him and he dropped his head onto your shoulder, crying silently. He stayed there and you let him. He needed to fall to pieces. Sometimes, that was all one could do when the pain became too much.   
   
You kept all movements gentle. The way you combed your fingers through his hair to how you ran your hand over his back. Until he stopped.   
"Thank you, Y/N," he mumbled. He returned to lying on his back, and you curled into his side. Now, he played with your hair, repeatedly twirling the same, soft strand around his index. "Do you have time tomorrow?" he asked after some time.  
   
"I have an early shift. But... I can call in if you need me to."  
"The afternoon is fine. I'll pick you up."  
"Are you sure? I mean if you need me..."  
"It's... it's not for me." He stopped twirling your hair.  
   
Your head perked up and he chuckled lightly. Your eyes were curious, to say the least. "You'll see," was all he offered. "Go back to sleep, Doctor Y/LN," he smirked lightly with shut eyes.  
"Is that an order, Commander Dameron?" you quirked your brow with a soft laugh. No reply. Poe had fallen asleep.   
   
You watched him for a little while, tracing his chest with your index, from tiny scars to larger ones to the one on his left side. War's physical manifestation. Wounds that had healed to reminders of physical pain. But you knew, the emotional traumas were deeper than any of the scars visible to the eye. Those would need time to fully heal; if ever that is.   
   
You watched him some more. He whispered now and then. A few times he twitched. Once, he loudly husked out a broken name. One you didn't recognize. You watched for as long as you could before the unavoidable fogginess set in, your conscious mind ebbing away to dreams far away.  
   
"Y/N, wake up," the words sounded soft and distant. You felt a touch against your nose. A chuckle, that sounded closer, followed. Likely because you had scrunched up your face. "Wake up," you heard again. Clearer this time. Your eyes fluttered open, Poe slowly coming into focus. He sat on the edge of the bed, already in his orange flight suit, smiling down on you. He looked rested, but there was a hint of last night that remained.  
   
You drew in a long breath, the scent of fresh coffee crawling into your nose.  
"Did you pick up breakfast?" You snickered with a squint over the edge of the blanket. Poe nodded, then caressed your face. You sat up and peered to the table behind Poe's back, spying stacks of flatcakes, fresh fruit, and other favorites you knew were hard to come by, especially on a military base, and especially a Resistance one.  
   
You scooted to the edge of the bed, got up, and meandered to the table.   
"What's all this?" You geared towards Poe.  
He ambled your way and pulled out your chair, gesturing for you to take a seat. "Breakfast," he whispered before placing a warm kiss behind your ear.  
"I can see that. This is... this is almost a feast," you remained standing, hint of //explain// in your voice.  
   
Poe's face faltered from a soft smile to an //I've been caught// expression, and you knew something was up. "What exactly are we doing this afternoon?" you waited.   
"I don't want to say. I have to show you," Poe became quite serious. He reached for the carafe to pour some coffee but you stopped him.  
"Poe? Please?" you raised your brow and searched for his eyes.  
   
He hitched a breath, then focused on you. "I love you, Y/N," he whispered. You held your pose because you knew there was more. "I've never asked anything of you. At least, I hope that I've never asked, because you staying, you loving me, respecting ... no wait... accepting that I'm always away..., these are all things you've given me freely. And I want them freely," he paused. "But... I'm asking you this time. I'm asking you to trust me. Just this once, trust me without knowing details. Trust me that it's important enough that you have to see with your own eyes."  
   
You heaved your chest and shook your head. "Ok, Commander. This had better be good. You know that I don't like secrets," you sat down at last and Poe poured you some coffee.  
"One last thing," he quickly added while sitting down on his chair. Your eyebrows shot up from behind your cup of coffee, halting the sip you were about to take. "Bring your medkit and extra supplies."  
You leaned back into your chair, ready to ask, but Poe gave you a requesting glance. The request: trust. So you gulped back the question with a sip of your coffee then dug into the stack of flatcakes.  
   
Breakfast truly was a feast this time. You ate more than you should have, though. A tummy ache was inevitable. Poe chuckled at your grumbles and you stuck out your tongue. At least the exhaustion seemed to fade. Him capturing you by your waist on your way out, teasing tiny kisses all over your face while snickering, was a clear sign that he felt somewhat better.  
   
"I have to go," you laughed when Poe recaptured you by your hips.  
"I know. But... I didn't give you any attention last night. Have to make up for that," he wiggled his brows.  
You swung your arms around his neck and raised your brow with a smirk. "You can make it up to me later --- tonight," you kissed his nose, then freed yourself from his hold and quickly walked in the direction of sickbay.  
"Remember you said that!" Poe called after you with a laugh.  
"Oh, I'll remember, Commander!" you called back with a spin and a laugh.  
"I hope so!" he laughed. He always did have to have the last word. This time, you didn't mind.  
   
Mornings at sickbay were always busy. And mornings after a completed mission were even busier. Pilots and crews reporting in for quick, post-mission checkups. Even Poe couldn't escape that. At least you didn't have to deal with his grumbles about that.   
   
After stepping forward that you two were an item, you deemed it best that another physician ran Poe's checkups. It wasn't something that was required by any means, but you felt it necessary to keep personal life and work life separated like that.   
It was something that came in handy when someone you cared for got hurt. Personal attachment would be a distraction should the situation ever arise, and that was something no one could afford.   
   
So now someone else dealt with Poe's grouchiness. The exams didn't bother him, really. It was the time away from his own work that made him grumble. Today was no exception.  
   
Close to noon, you caught a glimpse of Poe sitting on the edge of a med-bed in exam room one. You snickered at his eye rolls when you saw his new doctor rattling down a list of questions Poe had probably answered a million times before. There were squints and thin-lipped pouts when Poe was asked for a sample of blood. All things that were routine to ensure he was ok. Physically at least.  
   
"How do you put up with him?" Poe's doctor asked outside the exam room, frustrated tone because Poe didn't ever make things easy if he saw an opportunity to be a bit of a pain in the ass.  
   
"I ask myself that same question," you chuckled, but quickly stopped when you were met with an un-amused glare. "He's a pilot. They're all like that," you explained.  
"Yeah, well, he's the worst of the bunch."  
"Only because he knows he gets to you like that," you chuckled again.   
"Clearly, you see something in him, the rest of us don't," Poe's doctor huffed, then walked off to help another patient.  
   
He wasn't wrong. Poe wasn't what he seemed. You had learned that more and more over the last year. That cocky know-it-all, can-do-it-all behavior was only a front. Mostly to keep morale high during times of high stress.  
   
Behind the surefire stance and witty remarks, however, was a man who at times was as vulnerable as everyone else. Who needed comfort and reassurance like everyone else. A compassionate and empathetic man who loved those closest to him so much, he would give them everything of his if they lost it all. A man whose passion for the right thing was so "absolute", he would probably pay the ultimate price.   
   
You shook your head. At times it was tough to share that place of devotion to you with his passion for what was right, but you didn't dare ask him to choose. At least not yet. Unfortunately, in the back of your mind, you knew that sooner or later, you would have to present him with a choice. You feared the thought of it. You loved Poe very much, but you also wanted more than this. More than back to back missions; more than a life on the Resistance base; more than the constant fear that one day, he might not return.  
   
For now, you kept that thought to yourself. Your relationship was young. You both were fairly young. It was ok to be in the status quo for a little while. Just long enough to at least enjoy what you had now, because times like this didn't last. At least not during this day and age. During war.  
   
You sighed, then felt a breath against the back of your neck.  
"You look deep in thought," Poe whispered. He wrapped his arms around you from behind and kissed your neck. "Everything alright?"  
"Mmmmhmmm. Just ... thinking," you whispered back.   
"About?"  
"Everything and nothing. Us."  
   
Poe let go of you and coaxed you to turn around. "Us?"  
You pulled your shoulders up. "Us," you nodded. Your gaze fell to the floor and Poe lifted your face by your chin.   
"Should I be worried?" He asked carefully.  
You thought for a second. The words status quo on repeat.  "No," you smiled.  
"Hmmmmm... I get the feeling there's something you're not telling me, but ... I'll take your word for now." Poe pushed a breath through his nose.   
   
He knew you as well as you knew him. And like you, he knew when it was best to back off. "I'll pick you up in a few hours. Remember, medkit and extra supplies," Poe kissed above your brow, then made his way back to the hangars.  
   
You had almost forgotten about that. You grabbed your medkit and checked over it to make sure everything was at hand. Hypospray, vials, spray splint, bandages, sonic scalpel, laser cauterizer, bone stabilizer, substance analyzer. All check.  
You grabbed a large, empty rolling case and stashed extra supplies within, including a few smaller medpacs.   
   
You wondered where you were heading where things like these were needed? All large-scale missions, as far as you knew, were completed for now. Only a few smaller ventures had some people absent, but you doubted that command would dispatch help this way. Unless you were to use all this equipment as trade in for something, or someone. It wouldn't be the first time. Medical supply was almost as valuable Nova Crystals, especially to those who had been cut off from trading routes by the First Order.  
   
You shrugged and closed the case and your medkit. When it came to some things, you didn't ask questions, despite your dislike for secrets. If this helped the right people, who were you to ask.  
   
A couple of hours later, Poe - _who had changed into civilian type clothing at some point_ \- met up with you, helping you roll the case across the landing pads towards a Resistance transport.   
You gulped. "We're not staying on planet, are we?"  
Poe just shook his head.  
"And this is going to take longer than an afternoon, isn't it?"  
Poe nodded.  
   
You halted. You never had any reason to distrust him, but you couldn't just up and leave. People were counting on you to be on time for work.   
"Don't worry, Y/N. I cleared you for a few days off," a female voice behind you took you off guard. You spun around and, surprisingly unsurprising, found General Organa smiling at you.  
   
You scrunched your nose. Clearly, the General knew exactly what you were thinking. "General. Are you coming along?" You stared at a bag in the General's hand.   
"How many times have I told you, it's Leia. You're a civilian, off duty. Formality is only required when you're working," Leia quirked her brow in an //is that clear// way.  
   
You just nodded, then finally heaved your medkit into the transport. "Wait. I didn't pack any extra clothes."  
"Don't worry. I packed some for you," Poe grinned.  
"Wearable stuff?" Your left brow shot up.  
"Yes," Poe smiled. "Mostly," he tacked on with a wide grin.  
"Smart ass."  
He laughed.  
   
You stepped into the transport and peered around, noting that the passenger compartments were filled to the top with more supplies. Crates with food rations, water filtration systems, clothing, and tools ranging from farming equipment to droid repair kits.   
You squinted at one crate in particular. It was different from the others. Covered in blue stripes, and the letters S.B.H.f.C. stamped in red across all sides.   
   
From the corner of your eye, you saw Poe gazing at you.   
"You'll see," he smiled like he knew you could barely contain the questions now running through your mind.   
   
Poe made his way to the cockpit and radioed in to clear for takeoff. Then he jerked around, like he had forgotten something. "Hold on," he got out of the pilot's seat and dashed for the transport doors. He stopped the doors from closing and scanned across the landing pads, and you got up to see what was wrong.   
   
You laughed when you saw what had him halt takeoff. In the distance, a white orange spherical droid raced your way, almost at light-speed and nearly knocking people over as it whirred through legs and around other obstacles.   
   
"I told you to be here," Poe scolded when the droid reached the transport. "Don't take that tone with me, BB-8. Last time! Next time, I'm leaving you behind."  
You laughed at the droid's sassy reply. It almost sounded like it was calling Poe names while going //yeah right//, but you couldn't tell for sure. For that, it was beeping too fast, and your binary language skill was too slow.  
   
"Hey BB-8. What's new?" You smiled at the droid. It spun its little, domed head to look at you and started beeping. "Slow down," you laughed, and it did. "Oh really? Tell me all about it," you encouraged while you sat down in a passenger seat near the cockpit; Poe and Leia flying the transport.   
   
You could've co-piloted but you knew, whenever the General was on board, it was her prerogative to co-pilot non-support missions. It was something she didn't get to do often anymore. Something, she admitted, she missed dearly. So you sat in the passenger seat and continued your chat with BB-8 while the transport took off.  
   
Once clear of D'Qar, the transport hurled into hyperspace.   
"It's not far," Poe looked over his shoulder, smiling at you.  
"Alright," you smiled back.   
   
You stayed seated for the trip. Not like there was much room to walk around with all the supplies taking up passenger compartments. Your mind wandered, again. You counted the crates. Who was all this for? The rations alone could hold over a small army for a month. For an individual, they could easily last a few years.    
   
You leaned down to BB-8. "Do you know what's going on?" you whispered. And BB-8 replied exactly how you had expected. Such a loyal, little droid. "Poe said that, huh? Figures," you looked towards Poe. You knew he would instruct the answer to be "I'm not allowed to say." "I wish you were organic. I'd coax it out with treats," you told BB-8. You could've sworn the beeps that followed were a snicker.   
   
You relaxed back into your seat, wishing you had taken along your personal datapad. Space travel as passenger was always a bit boring.   
"Please tell me, you have a holographic checkers subroutine," you geared at BB-8, and sure enough it did. So you wasted your time playing checkers against the droid. You had a feeling that the astromech let you win on purpose now and then. Quite endearing, really.    
   
Keeping the mind busy definitively helped pass the time. Before you knew it, the transport dropped out of hyperspace. With a bit of a rumble, though.  
"Shit! Hold on!" Poe shouted. The transport jerked to a felt starboard [right], then jolted hard to port [left] and down. You gripped to the sides of your seat, your heart pounding, and BB-8 clawed to surfaces with expandable cables and grappling hooks.   
   
"Sorry about that!" Poe huffed after the transport stabilized. You looked out a small window, to see what that was all about, a double asteroid belt and a blue-green marbled planet coming to view. You squinted and realized the belts weren't large rocks floating in space, but rather a collection of space debris. Broken satellites, torn bits of space stations, laser damaged ships. Then you saw several Y-Wings emerge from the belts and speeding your way.  
   
"Don't worry. They're only escort flights making sure we're not here to cause trouble," Poe explained when he saw you holding your breath.  
"They look tense," you geared at Poe, still worried. Sure, Y-Wings were affiliated with the Resistance, but for all you knew, they could have been stolen.   
"Trust me," Poe mouthed. You gulped and leaned back into your seat.   
   
"Resistance Transport Tantive Ten request permission for landing. Pilot and two passengers on board," Poe announced.   
Silence.  
More silence.   
One minute of silence that felt like stretched infinity.  
"Welcome back, Resistance Transport Tantive Ten. You are cleared for landing. Please proceed to landing-pad three," crackled back. The Y-Wings broke away and returned to their spots in the belt. A great disguise really, you thought.   
   
Poe landed the transport, then got up, his attention on Leia.   
Leia nodded reassuringly at Poe, then he turned and focused on you. He took your hand and pulled you to a stand.  
"Y/N, I need you to listen to me," he started, his face serious. You nodded that you understood. "You cannot tell anyone about this place. No one can know this exists. No one. Do you understand?" Poe paused and you nodded again. "Not even your best friends," he held an urging gaze.  
"I promise," you whispered.  
   
Poe kept holding your hand. He squeezed it a few times over. He peered back to Leia and you saw the General give Poe a permitting nod. He let go and paced towards the transport doors. You followed. He held his breath, then finally punched in the code to open the doors.  
   
"Welcome --- to Alderaan Two [II]," he said softly while the doors opened. He looked at you from the side to take in your reaction, smiling when he saw your jaw drop.   
   
Of all the things, this was the last thing you had expected. You had guessed of course. And you hadn't been entirely wrong in your assumptions that the supplies were meant for refugees. You had expected worse conditions, though. Drab conditions of patched up leftover escape pods and large canvases to offer escape from rain.  
This, however, was a settlement. The beginning of a city, really. Nothing like the refugee camps you had seen throughout your career.  
   
Granted, it wasn't very big right now. But buildings and infrastructure were ... well... beautiful. Everything was built between or into massive trees, some so tall they seemed to reach the sky. The facades of domed houses, shops, and municipals were in light but natural colors; the roofs covered in flowers and shrubs to blend in with the surrounding, definitely when viewed from above. The streets were in red brick to match the soil around the area, but clean. There were stands offering a variety of trinkets and crafts. Some offered food. Fruits in colors you didn't know existed.   
   
You stepped off the transport to get a broader view. Speechless. Humanoids in all shapes and sizes walked or stood on sidewalks. Some looked like they were on a break from office-related jobs, others hurried to get where they needed to go. Everyone wore clean clothing. Nothing ragged or torn or gray, but well-fitted pieces in bright colors, some with intricate beading or embroidery. There was no sign of war. No sign of hostility. Not even small skirmishes. Utopia-like almost.   
   
You had only seen a place like this once in your life. Peaceful and clean. No signs of crime or corruption. Technology at minimum but available to help with more strenuous tasks. You had seen a place like this. A long time ago. Right before you had decided to become a doctor, and when you had been lucky enough to move freely past the outsider citadels on Cerea because one of the surgeons there had decided to take you under their wing.  
   
"POE!"  
You startled at a sound of rushed footsteps. A group of youngsters dashed towards your location.   
"Hey guys. How is it going?" Poe laughed when they reached and embraced him like an old friend. He lifted one of the children into his arms and smiled at you. BB-8 also seemed of great interest. The little droid whirred around in excitement while the children tried to catch the astromech. You snickered whenever BB-8 let them win only to get squished under a pile of hugs.  
   
Then you felt someone tugging on your shirt. You looked down and saw a little girl staring up at you. A Mirialan girl, maybe four or five years old, with beautiful green skin, violet eyes, and black hair. She stretched her arms to you and you lifted her up. A little apprehensive because you hadn't seen children for quite some time and didn't know how to deal.  
   
The girl palmed your face like she was studying you, then hugged you tightly. "Thank you?" you smiled awkwardly. From the peripheral, you could see Poe snickering at your unsure posture. He seemed more confident around the kids. Then again, he was always confident around others.  
   
"Children," you heard someone yell, and the Mirialan girl freed herself from your hold, leaping to the ground and dashing towards the voice. The other children ran, too. A human woman paced your way, smiling, the children lining up behind her. "I'm sorry, Poe. They're excited. They've been waiting for you since they heard you were coming back."   
   
"No problem, director. Tell them, we'll be there tomorrow," Poe smiled back, then winked. It was almost like a request not to say more. The woman seemed to understand, nodding before shooing the children back towards a building that looked like a school.   
   
Then a group of men approached. "Time to get these supplies to the halls," Poe explained. The men heaved the crates onto repulsorlifts, except your medkit and case, and the crate with the blue stripes. "That one is going to our room at the Inn," he explained.  
"They have an Inn here?" You quirked your brow in surprise.  
"Of course. Not everyone stays. Some people only come for a few days to help build or fix things."   
"Is this why you came back late sometimes?" you asked cautiously.  
"Yes." Poe transferred the last of the crates.  
   
You looked to the ground, and Poe sensed that you were somewhat upset. Not at him really, but the fact that he hadn't even hinted at this sooner.   
"I couldn't tell you. General Organa asked me not to. You have to understand, this settlement, well.... this city, it's made up of Resistance sympathizers and retired Resistance fighters. Even so, not everyone gets to come here. Only the most trusted."  
"You don't trust the people on base?" Your eyes shot back up.   
   
"Trust is a difficult thing these days," Leia stood behind you. You spun around and gave her a questioning look. "I trust the people, I choose. Even those who come to us on their own terms. Who volunteer. I don't always trust their reasons, though," Leia spoke softly, but there was a seriousness to her that came with experience of betrayal. She grabbed her bag, then paced towards a group of elders, promptly asking to be shown around while they updated her about progress in the city.   
   
Your attention went back to Poe. He knelt down to level with his droid.  
"BB-8, stay close to the General. Don't leave her side, even if she asks," Poe raised his brow. The usually sassy astromech beeped an //understood// and rolled after Leia.   
Poe rose back up, eyes on you. "She'll probably get mad, but --- rather be safe than sorry," Poe chuckled.   
   
You hitched a breath and nodded. He wasn't wrong. The General was a high-value target. You hated that you had started thinking like that. In military terms. Like that was the normality, and regular life the exception. You shook your head.  
   
"So, what's the medkit for. You said we needed it. But everyone here looks like they're doing ok."  
Poe grabbed your medkit and the case you had assembled and started walking.   
You followed, stern-faced and quiet, simultaneously taking in your surroundings. The city sprawled further than you had initially thought. Alleyways led to more street-level buildings. Elevators that moved up and down the massive trees on magnetic tracks seemed to lead to permanent residences.  
"Are you upset?" Poe side-eyed you.  
"No."  
   
Poe stopped and raised his brow in a //I know you better than you think// way.  
"OK. Maybe a little," you stopped a few paces after he did. "But I get it. If the First Order ever found this place, they'd kill them all. So, I get it," you smiled at last.  
"I knew you would," Poe beamed, then started walking again. He brushed a kiss onto your cheek when he passed you, then geared towards a beautiful, tall building that, with warm and decorative glass fronts, stood out from the others.   
   
The doors to the building swished open and you found yourself in a lobby of a hospital, but nothing like you had grown accustomed to. You were used to a certain grittiness. Darkness, really, because sickbay on the Resistance base was built into a hillside. An unwelcoming place no one liked staying at for too long because not only did it lack natural light but felt damp and cold.  
   
This place, however, was bright and warm. The glass fronts, with the sunlight shining through, created kaleidoscopic patterns on the walls. There was almost a comfort in the fact that you didn't hear agonized moaning or crying. Serenity. A true place of healing.   
   
"The last mission's wounded are here," Poe stopped by the double doors leading to the emergency section. "Most are ok. A few, however...," he gulped.  
"Got it."  
"Is this her?" a young doctor sped your way, a stack of data charts under her arm.  
"Yes. Y/N, this is Doctor Daemora Laval. She's the chief medical surgeon," Poe introduced.    
You stretched out your hand. "Where do you need help?" was an automatic response, and the young doctor didn't waste time to show you to ICU.   
   
You helped without a second thought. Plasma burns seemed the majority of the injuries. Some worse than others. Your mind was in full medical mode the entire time, but when you finished for the day, you could see why Poe had come back exhausted.   
   
Some of the burns weren't from distant blaster fire. Some were deliberately placed. Mostly across arms and legs. Torture came to mind. You didn't dare ask the victims directly. They had endured enough. It was time to heal. Physically at least. But you could tell, by the way they twitched at even the lightest touch, that it wasn't just pain that caused their reactions.    
   
So you didn't ask, but you did hold their hands a little longer than you usually did, conveying to them that they were safe now. That you were here to help them get through. More often than not, a weary smile was the return. Weary but grateful.   
   
One more patient, then you bid your farewell for the day and dragged back to the lobby where Poe was waiting for you.   
"Are you ok?" he asked carefully when he saw your face.   
"Yes. Just tired," you sighed.  
"Let's go to the Inn, then. I have dinner waiting for us," Poe caressed your face and you agreed. He slid his hand into yours and led you to a building not far from landing-pad three. And like promised, dinner was already waiting. Along with a bottle of Blossom Wine, and Wasaka Berry Pie for dessert.  
   
Dinner went by without words, though. The subject matter was too heavy to talk over food. A few times, Poe reached across the table and caressed your hand in understanding. And you just bobbed your head, also in understanding. War truly was vile like that. Devouring everything that hinted at hope and love and joy.   
   
It made evenings like this more relevant. You definitely learned to appreciate when you recognized that you were, indeed, in a perfect moment, so you tried your best to let go of harrowing thoughts.  
   
Dinner long finished, you sat by the table sipping on a glass of Blossom Wine, still quiet but with a soft smile. You swirled your glass, chuckling.  
"What's so funny?" Poe asked when he heard your small laugh.  
"Do I want to know how you got your hands on this?" you smirked, hinting at the rarity of the wine.  
Poe rested his elbow on the table and his chin in his hand, smiling. "Nope," he mumbled, a mischievous spark in his eyes.  
   
"Hmmmm. Why do I get the feeling, Chewbacca was in on this," you quirked your brow.  
Poe slowly shook his head, denying any involvement, and you snickered at his failed pretense. His widened eyes gave him away like that. "It's been a long day. Going to take a shower," you got up and turned towards the refresher.   
   
Poe quickly captured your hand and stopped you in your track. He stood up and pulled you close by your hips, leaning in for a kiss. "Thank you," he whispered.  
"For what?"  
"Trusting me," he smiled. He let go of you and started clearing the table and you, with a pause first, paced to the refresher.  
   
You stripped away your clothes, then stepped into the shower. You sighed when the water hit your skin. It had been a long time since you had used an actual water shower. The resistance base only offered sonics. So this was a treat.   
   
You closed your eyes, letting the water run over you, letting it put you into a white noised trance. Seconds passed. Then minutes. You lost track. A kiss against your shoulder made you jump.  
   
"Sorry," you heard Poe snicker. You turned around and were met with a soft glance down your body. You returned the glance and noted that Poe had stripped off his clothes and now stood in the shower with you. He skimmed across your collarbone, smiling. "You've been in here for so long, I was getting worried," he chuckled.  
   
"Is that so?" You gave him another, fleeting once-over.  
"Yup," Poe leaned and kissed into the curve of your neck. You couldn't help the moan the kiss procured. His lips against your skin, right on that pressure point, had that effect.   
   
Poe closed the gap between you two by pulling you towards him. He slowly slid his hands down your back while he continued kissing into the curve of your neck. Gentle kisses. Soothing kisses. Lasting kisses.  
   
He let go of you and stepped back, giving you another soft gaze. He traced his index over your collarbone to your breasts, then drew a line down the center of your stomach, his eyes tracking his own finger. A soft smile and you knew where his thoughts were heading. Weren't they always with that kind of gaze?  
   
You cut off the water and reached for a towel. You wrapped it around your body and stepped out of the shower.   
Poe frowned. "Now, I have to unwrap you, again," he held the frown.  
"Unwrapping is half the fun," you perked your brow, shifting close to him.  
"That's true, huh?" Poe whispered, brushing over the edge with his index where towel met skin. You could already see him plotting a map of kisses. Paths between his favorite spots. Spots he knew, if he kissed and bit them the right way, would produce the sweetest moans.  
   
You wanted those kisses, of course. But you did like teasing him now and then.   
So when he leaned in to kiss that same spot he had just detailed, you stepped back, and Poe husked out a breath. You scrunched your nose then paced to the bed in your room, leaving him standing a bit in disbelief that you had resisted a kiss.   
   
You stood by the foot of the bed, towel still wrapped around you, and waited.   
"Well?" you wiggled your brows, giving Poe another once-over. Unlike you, he had opted against a towel. Not that you minded. Poe naked with beads of water dripping from his hair over his body was a fair exchange for the wait, especially when you glimpsed him halfway there. A fair exchange, indeed.  
   
He caught your gaze and smirked, then made himself tall.  
"Are you going to continue teasing me?" he lifted his brow.   
"What's the matter, Commander? Can't handle a taste of your own medicine?" you countered.   
   
Poe chuckled, licking over the back of his teeth, then bit his lip.  
He ambled your way, painstakingly slow, and glanced down your body, again.   
Raised brow meeting raised brow kind of stare off. Neither willing to give in.  
You bit your lip, loosening the grip on your towel. Slow, slower, slowest.   
Poe stood agape with a dreamy stare.   
"Hmmmm? Oops," you retightened your grip on the towel, fluttering your lashes.   
   
"Kriff," Poe cussed, and you laughed. You couldn't help yourself. He looked almost desperate now. Mainly because usually he was the teaser and you the teased.   
   
He bit his lower lip, holding an intense gaze into your eyes. It would have been too easy had he given into the tease. You knew that.   
He inched closer. Just half a step, never breaking his gaze. He knew you couldn't resist his eyes. He knew.   
   
Another half step and you two stood nose to nose. He hummed, then quirked his brow with a sly smile. Next thing you knew, you crashed into the mattress and he dropped on top of you.   
   
Damn his perfect eyes. Damn him knowing that you couldn't steer away. He had used this to his advantage. Distracting you from the fact that his hands had found their way to your waist just a second before he had tossed you on the bed.  
   
You laughed under his weight, trying to wiggle free from under him, but he pinned you in place with his body.  
"Poeeeeeeeeeehhhhhh," you wheezed out.   
"Yes," he grinned into your neck.  
"You're crushing me," you whined.  
"I am? Oh. Well, see, that's what you get for teasing me," he laughed.  
"Poe. Come on. I need air," you laughed.  
   
He pushed his weight to elbows and knees and let you catch your breath.   
You let go of the towel. Somehow you had managed to hold on. The towel remained loosely around your body, draped in such a way that it only revealed a hint of skin where short ends met.   
   
Poe hummed again and leaned in for a kiss. A soft kiss during which he traced the edges of your lips with the tip of his tongue before parting you for more. You gasped when he pulled away. He smiled and you palmed his face. "Just what the doctor ordered," you snickered.   
"I agree," he leaned back in, and the two of you lost yourselves in whispered moans and tender exploration. Truly, a perfect moment suspended in time.   
   
You came to the next day, disheveled mess and a little sore, chuckling then drawing in a long breath with closed eyes. The sweetened scent of love hung in the air and clung to your body. You reached over to your right hoping that skin would meet skin, but the spot next to you was empty.   
   
Your eyes shot open, the pillow Poe had used coming into focus. "Poe?" You sat up and looked around. You wrapped yourself in the blanket and rolled out of bed. A glimpse out the window had you blinded for a second. Sunlight slowly edged its way over the buildings, the cusp of a new morning.   
   
You ventured a guess that Poe was off to the market for breakfast, so you went for another, quick shower. Mainly because you truly had missed water based showers and you planned on taking advantage while here.   
   
Towel wrapped around your body, you scrounged through the bag Poe had packed for you and huffed. What that man understood as wearable was beyond your comprehension. Not that he had chosen revealing outfits. Those neither you nor he actually minded. It was the color combinations that had you shake your head.   
   
"I take it, I brought the wrong stuff?" You heard Poe snicker from behind.   
You spun around holding up a neon green shirt and bright purple pants. "I don't know, Poe. You tell me," you frowned, holding up the clothes.  
Poe shrugged. "I think, those look nice."  
"How in the world did you ever become a pilot? I know for a fact that you're not colorblind but sometimes, I wonder," you stuffed the clothes back into the bag, scrounging to see if he had brought something else.  
   
Indeed, he had; but somehow you knew that all the other clothes were meant as diversion so you would pick that. A simple, off-white, lacy, cotton dress you knew was his favorite on you. You shook your head. "You've become predictable, Commander," you snickered.  
"So have you," he embraced you from behind with a kiss on your shoulder.   
   
You dropped your towel and slipped on fresh undergarments, then the dress, Poe watching you the entire time. You raised your brow at his lingering gaze. "What? I love watching you get dressed as much as I love undressing you," he grinned.  
"Same," you scrunched your nose. "So, what are we doing today?"   
   
"Thought, you'd never ask," Poe smiled. He made his way to the blue-striped crate and heaved it from the floor. He made his way to the door and gestured with his chin for you to follow.   
   
Outside the Inn, Poe stashed the crate into a two-seating landspeeder. "It's a little further out," he explained. He went back to the room and when he returned, held two large boxes with cookies under his arms.   
"That's a lot of cookies," you giggled.  
"It sure is. We gonna need them. Or else we might not make it past security checkpoint," he smirked.   
You laughed. "What kind of checkpoint gets bribed with cookies?"  
"You'll see." Poe nodded. For the first time in two days, you saw an excited spark in his eyes. That was the Poe you were used to, and you were glad he was back.   
   
He helped you into the speeder and the two of you were on your way. The city thinned out towards the edges and you sped across an open field towards another forested area. You peered around, noting a long fence enclosing part of the field. A few more minutes, and a large, multi-building complex came to view.   
   
"We're here," Poe parked in front of what appeared to be the main building and killed the engine. He smiled at you for a second, then jumped out of the speeder and walked around to your side. "Brace yourself," he whispered into your ear. Not even a minute after, the patter of rushed footsteps barreled your way.  
   
"Who goes there?" You heard a young voice. You peeked over the edge of the speeder, trying your best to suppress a laugh. A girl of maybe ten or so held up a stick in a semi-threatening way, but there was a smirk behind her eyes. She obviously knew who he was. Still, she held her position.  
"Poe Dameron," Poe snickered with raised hands.  
"POE?! Poe is here!" Some fifteen or so children bubbled out from behind doors and shrubs.  
   
"Hey guys. Told you, I'd be back," Poe laughed.   
"Did you bring us cookies?" a boy of maybe six or seven asked.  
"Did I bring you cookies? Did I *Poe pointed at himself* bring you cookies? Don't I always?"   
"Who is that?" a little girl pointed at you.   
"Oh. I'm sorry. Let me introduce you. This is Y/N. Y/N, this is the security checkpoint," Poe smirked with a wink.  
   
"I see," you giggled. The cookies now made sense. You jumped out of the speeder and the kids crowded you with hugs and repeated welcomes of your name.  
"Tell me that you didn't actually give them the cookies," the same woman, who had approached you on landing pad three the day before, paced your way, smiling. She hugged Poe, then turned to you.   
"Y/N. This is Nuray Elysar. She's the director of the home," Poe introduced. You stretched out your hand, but Nuray pulled you in for a hug.   
   
"Home?" You asked with a raised brow.  
"Yes. The Shara Bey's Home for Children," Nuray pointed at a sign above the entrance.  
"Shara Bey... That's your..." you looked at Poe.  
"... my mother's name," he smiled. "The General insisted," he blushed. "There's some supplies in the crate. It's not much this time. But things that are needed. And a few toys," Poe geared at Nuray.   
"You don't have to bring something every time, Poe. The kids are happy when you hang around for a few days," Nuray explained.  
   
Poe heaved the crate from the speeder and made his way up the main building's steps. You hesitated for a moment. There was a feeling in your stomach. You couldn't quite place it. Right now, it was just a guess of why he had actually brought you here. Why he had actually told you about this planet, now. But you bit your tongue.   
   
"You coming, Y/N," Poe waited.  
"Right behind you," you nodded.   
   
"So, are these all the children?" You asked Nuray on the way to the kitchen.  
"No. Some are outside in the back. Others have training with ...," Nuray paused and looked at Poe. Poe nodded. "... with Luke."  
You pulled in your brows. "Jedi training?"  
Nuray shook her head no. "Basic defense. You never know, right?"   
You raised your brow, a hint of disapproval in there and Nuray picked up immediately.   
"They also learn about art and languages and space. Everything, really. Everything they could ever need. Everything, they've been denied all their lives."  
"I see," you smiled.   
   
Poe dropped the crate onto the floor and opened it. A couple of caretakers started going through and stowing items away, Poe helping while you looked out the kitchen window. A few kids were playing catch or flying kites. In the distance, you spotted a child sitting alone.    
   
Poe finished helping and walked up next to you to see what had you preoccupied.  
"Has he talked, yet?" he geared at Nuray.  
"No. Not a word since you dropped him off."  
   
Poe took your hands, and suddenly it sank in. That feeling from earlier. Why you were really here. You didn't even have to look into Poe's eyes to know you were here for the child.   
"It's funny," you whispered.  
"What is?" Poe asked.  
"Lately, I've been thinking about how I want more. More than our life on base. More than this forsaken war. More with you," you paused. "And now that I'm here, it scares me."  
"Why?"  
"Because, I ... I don't think you want the same. We've never even talked about children. And now, we're here. So I always thought..."  
   
Poe slipped his hand under your chin and lifted your face to look at him.   
"But I do want more."  
"Are you really willing to trade your life in the Resistance, the way it is now, for this? For a normal life?" you peered around.   
Poe hitched a breath.   
   
"I know you, Poe. You're a Resistance pilot first, and everything else is secondary. It's not intentional. I know that. But I know you. You make rash decisions sometimes. Spur of the moment kind of things. Things that are dangerous. It's ok when it's just us. When there is no one to worry about except each other. Not that that's encouraged, but those things are not ok when they're kids involved."  
"But he needs us. I'm not saying we have to adopt him. But he needs someone."  
"How fair would it be to him, though? To take him in, and you not being around."  
"You would be around."  
" ** _WE_** need to be around."  
   
You palmed Poe's face, the gears behind his eyes working.   
"I'm going to go check on him. Make sure he's ok. I am a doctor after all, so," you shrugged. Poe let go of you, and you made your way outside.   
   
When you reached the boy you sat down opposite him. He was building what looked like a house with things he clearly had found nearby: sticks, pebbles, tree bark, flowers. "Hi," you whispered. "I'm Y/N. What's your name?"   
You hoped that he would look up but he kept his focus on the task.  
   
You visually examined him. He was maybe six or seven with tan skin and golden curls; and, after leaning down to get a closer look, you noted golden eyes. Not amber, not brown, not blonde. Golden curls and golden eyes that shimmered in the sun.  
   
He did not seem to have visible injuries, so him not talking was clearly the aftermath of shock. After what you had encountered at the hospital, you ventured that he had seen, or likely at least heard, things he shouldn't have.   
   
You got up and peered around. You gathered things similar to his: sticks, pebbles, tree bark, flowers. "Well, I'm going to sit over here and try and build a house of my own. Don't laugh, though. I'm horrible at this. It'll probably just look like a little hut. Not like the masterpiece you're building," you plopped back down and started on your house.   
   
You built a base and were starting on the walls when everything collapsed. From your peripheral you could have sworn you saw the boy snicker. You tried again, and again your house collapsed. "I don't get it. What am I doing wrong?" you whispered. "Maybe you can help me?" you nudged gently.   
   
Nothing. He stayed focused on his task. "Ok, well. If you're not going to talk, I'm going to. I kind of like talking. I find it helps me when I'm scared. Or when I'm trying to figure things out. Anyways. You know something. I used to live on a planet called Cerea. My family moved there when I was a baby. The outsider citadels were awful. It smelled so bad there," you chuckled. So did the boy. Victory. A small one. One nonetheless.  
   
"But past that, there were beautiful cities. Just like the one here. The Cereans didn't like outsiders, but for whatever reason, they made an exception for me. I don't know why. Maybe because I loved learning about where I lived. Or maybe they just wanted to study me. But they are the reason I became a doctor. And why I quite like this place," you smiled.   
   
You looked around and saw the little Mirialan girl you had held yesterday hiding in the grass near you. "And clearly, I'm not the only one who likes it here," you tossed a pebble in her direction without hitting her, and she shot up, which made you laugh. She sprinted towards you and leapt at you, hugging you.  
   
"Hello again," you chuckled. "What's your name?"  
"Lahani," the girl replied.  
"That's a pretty name."  
"His name's Arrik," the girl revealed. The boy shot her a look and she hunched behind you. Clearly, she had given you his name without permission.  
"Arrik, huh? I like that name," you smiled at the boy.  
   
"Lahani, you think you can help me build a house?" you geared at the girl, and she nodded yes. Two sets of hands should've worked in favor, but to both your dismay, your house kept toppling over.   
"This is boring," Lahani proclaimed. "We should play catch."  
"We'll play a little later. Why don't you go find Poe? Tell him I asked for him."  
Lahani nodded and darted towards the complex. You snickered. Mirialans were known for their agility and speed, so it didn't surprise you that the little girl reached the main building at light-speed.  
   
You tried one more time to build a house, but when it collapsed again you quietly observed Arrik. He was nearly finished with his and was now placing flower petals on the roof. "You're going to be a great engineer one day," you spoke softly.   
   
Arrik got up and ambled your way. He stood in front of you for a moment, touching your face, tracing your features with a feather-light touch. Then, without a word, he manipulated himself into your lap, crossing his legs over your crossed legs while reaching for your supplies. Quietly, he built a house from the things you had gathered, and you watched in amazement, surprised he wanted to sit with you and be held.  
   
A rustling noise a little while later, and an approaching shadow, had Arrik jerk around and jump out of your lap. You shot up as well and when you spun around found Poe looking at you, hands in the pockets of his pants, and Arrik hugging around his legs.  
"Lahani said you needed me," Poe smiled.   
"Yeah," you nodded.   
   
Arrik let go of Poe, then returned to building your house. You looked down on the boy. There was a warmth about him you couldn't quite deny. Something, that had you already care for him. He was alone. No parents. No one to care for him. Sure, he had the home. And Nuray seemed a lovely caretaker, but you knew, children needed more than that. Especially children like him, who had seen things they shouldn't have. Not at their age.  
   
"If we're doing this, --- we're going to do it right, Commander," you looked at Poe.  
"Ok," Poe agreed, his face settling to a soft smile.  
"I mean it. You're going to have to be there. Not just for me. For us."  
"Ok," Poe repeated.  
   
He scrunched up his face and smirked.  
"I'm serious, Poe!" You quirked your brow, a little annoyed.  
"I know you are," Poe's smirk grew wider. "That's why --- I guess --- I should probably put this on your finger, huh," his right hand slipped from his pocket, and between index and thumb you saw a simple silver ring with a set in Nova Chrystal.   
You shook your head laughing. "You really aren't what you seem, you know that Commander."  
"Yeah, well neither are you," he waited.  
   
"So, yay? Nay?" he asked carefully after some time.  
You looked back down at Arrik. "It's not going to be easy, you know that?"  
"You're talking to Poe Dameron here. I'm aware."  
You laughed. Such a smart ass. Your smart ass.  
"Better slip that ring on fast, before I change my mind," you smirked.  
 


End file.
